Wonder if, faith, and God's will

Sometimes things in my life makes me" wonder if", but than I think about faith. I am an only child and I often wonder if I had an older brother. I say older brother because I always thought I would have loved to have an older brother. I "wonder if" my life would be different. I don't know how having a brother would have made things different, but I just often "wonder if". I know God has a plan and he leads you, but I know sometimes we don't always follow in the right path. I don't so much anymore "wonder if" I married Tommy, but when I was young I thought Tommy and I would get married have four kids and live in a house with a picket fence. That didn't happen and Tommy broke my heart. Than I "wonder if" my parents didn't move away where would have my life taken me than. Well, if they wouldn't have moved I wouldn't have moved and I wouldn't have married my husband. Well it was God's plan.

I think when we are young and have all these hopes, dreams and plans it does make you "wonder if". I know when I was young I always wanted to be a nurse. I would doctor up my dolls and my mom would always ask me did you use all the bandaids again? I didn't become a nurse but later I did become a nursing assistant. I "wonder if" I would have gone to school and become a nurse would I be where I am today? I don't think I would be. So, it was God's will that the way my life has played out was for a reason. At the time I didn't think that way, but as I have grown and have God in my life it some how makes some sense.

After Tommy broke my heart and my parents moved away I was very depressed. That is when I decided to move too! I wasn't looking for love, but it somehow found me! I now know it was God's will that brought me here and his will that my husband and I met or you could say it was faith that brought us together.

I know there will always be "wonder if", but with faith I know God's plan is the right thing for me as long as I keep believing that no matter what he has his reasons and grant it sometimes I don't understand, but it is faith that I know he knows what he is doing, He is God after all.