Routine

I usually have a routine. I mean like I do certain things at a certain time or day. I have a routine at home as well as at work. I got thinking about this because my daughter had said something yesterday that got me to think about routine. Last week my routine was all off kilter. My husband was home all week and that just through my routine right off and actually I really didn't have a routine at all last week. It is funny how you get into a routine and not really realize you even have one until something just sets it off. I have a routine at work as well and that usually goes pretty well. Even sometimes at work it gets set of kilter. So my daughter was all confused as to what day it was yesterday because dad pick her up from school. Dad usually don't pick them up on Tuesday so she was sure it was Tuesday, but at the same time it couldn't be because dad is here. Than the day before Monday I pick them up. I usually don't pick them up on Mondays. So I guess I had her all confused. On Monday I also took them to school which isn't the norm either! Goes to make my point about routine! Sometimes when my routine gets messed up it can be a good thing! My oldest son came over and ask if I wanted to go see "Watchmen" with him. He had already seen it, but knew I wanted to go see it too and it isn't a movie for my other two to see so I jump on that, plus being with my oldest is always a nice thing! So sometimes when a routine is off kilter it can me a good thing it can break up the monotony of the same thing day in and day out. It was good to have my husband home last week but not with the circumstance in which he was home all week. So with that although routine is good sometimes it is good to break it up and do something different!

Getting Through

Well last week my husband took off of work because of his being in pain. It is a good thing he has so much vacation time. He ended up having to go in for a C.T. scan, well of course they wanted money because we hadn't made the deductable yet. He was kind of funny, he says, I guess this is the part of in sickness in for better or worse in sickness and health. I just laughed yeah I guess you could say that! I was so stressed out at work last night about taking him in today and not getting any sleep and having to go to work tonight that I just decided the heck with it and told the nurse I was taking it off and put down family emergency. He has been in so much pain and not eatting that I really have been worried about him. I know once this is all over he will be fine, but it is the waiting and getting through it all. Last Friday we went to the movies and after he said lets go out to dinner. We went to Chili's and he had order and than said I really don't feel so good I don't think I can eat, than he felt sick so he went out to the car. I felt really bad for him. When we got home he took his temp. and he was running a low grade fever so he went to bed. I hope he wasn't getting an infection. I have always been a worrier. I worry about the kids even my oldest who is out on his own I worry about my husband I worry about just everything really. I think most mom's are that way we just can't help it! I really had a hard time at work last night and I know with not getting sleep I wouldn't be the most delightful person to work with, so I probably is a good thing, but of course I feel guilty. I know I shouldn't I don't call in sick very often and I felt I needed to be here for my husband anyway. I still wish he would have made this for my day off, but I am not mad at him because I do understand he just wanted to get his done and feeling better. Even though he wasn't feeling all that good last week it was nice to spend the time together. We went to our daughters play one night and than to the movies the next, although I went to see different movie than they did. I went with my oldest son to see the watchmen which was very good. When I dropped him off at the hospital this morning he told me to go home and try to get some sleep, there is no time for sleep. Well at least I don't have to worry about work tonight!

My Husband

Last Sunday my husband informed he was having back pain and so he thought that he had kidney stone again! He gets these at least once or twice a year. The pain in awful for him. Now usually he goes to the doctor after getting an x-ray and he tells him it will just have to pass. Than he tells me he has been having the pain since Friday. What and you are just telling me now two days later!! So I said he better make an appointment on Monday to go see him. Monday morning comes along and he says well I am felling better so I think the stone has passed through my kidney and is on its way. I say well you still should go to the doctor. Of course he didn't and that evening he was having the pain again. You need to go to the doctor tomorrow than I told him. So on Tuesday he called work and let his boss know what was going on and if he could take one of his floaters for the day. His boss said no problem. Well he went got his x-ray done and went to the doctor and he has two pretty good sized kidney stones so now he has to have lithotripsy. So I told him when the scheduler calls to make it on one of my days off. Does he do this, no she called said how about Monday he said that would be fine. He said I just want to get it over with, I am I understand that but I work Sunday night and Monday night so I am going to have to rush home from work take him over to the hospital run back home get my kids off to school come back take a shower and wait for him to call me to pick him up. I am not going to get any sleep that day. I understand he wants to get it over with and maybe I am being selfish, but it is hard to work nights without getting any sleep. That is why I wanted him to make it for one of my days off. Well he also has taken all this week off of work being that he is in pain and felt he couldn't do his job well. It is easy for him because he has so much time. He has five weeks a year of vacation so it was no problem for him to call his boss and ask him if he could this week as a vacation week. It isn't so simple for me to get the night off. I hate that he gets these stones all the time and I wish there was something they could give him so he doesn't. This will be the second time he has had to have lithotripsy. It isn't an invaided procedure, but still they have to put you under and what not. It takes an hour than another hour to recover. He can't drive of course. I am just not sure what I will do. I guess I can see if maybe we don't have enough patients at work and they won't need me. I want to be with my husband, but there are other things like taking my kids to school than picking them up later. If only he would have listened to me!!

Taking Parents For Granted

I have been feeling really down today and was thinking about my parents, well to be more truthful mostly my mom! I was listening to Blue October and it started to make me cry, in turn made me think of my mom. I don't know it might be that it is just hormones, after all it is that time of the month AGAIN! I couldn't stop crying it was so crazy! Than I started to think did I take my parents for granted? Well I don't think I did. The reason I started to think of this was something I read. My parents had always been there for me and now they aren't. It really hits home when I would love for my mom to come over and stay with my kids, but than I remember she isn't around anymore. Maybe I am just feeling sorry for myself. No I don't think that is it either. I could call my parents anytime for just about any reason and if they could they would do what ever I had a need for at the time. If I needed my dad to pick up my husband from work or mom to come over to be with my kids they were always there. Why am I still feeling this way? I was talking to a friend at work and she said women grief different than men. She is so right there, and she also told me she still thinks of her mom and she passed away over 20 years ago. When I went back to work after having my children my mom was always there to watch them until my husband got home from work. When I had my children my mom was always there to help me out for the first couple of weeks. It has been a really hard year and it is coming up on the anniversary of her death. I just wonder if I ever told her how much I appreicated her or more so told her enough how much. How much I loved her, how much she meant to me. I loved my dad and I miss him, but I miss my mom so much more. It is like I have this heart ache I can't get rid of, it is like a piece is missing. I am grateful for my family, because I really couldn't have got this far if not for them. I know life goes on, but some days it is almost unbearable I think today is one of those days. Is this normal? Am I losing my mind? Will it get better? I know only time well heal and it might take longer than I think. I know for as long as I can I will be there for my kids no matter how old they are, because that is what being a parent is all about. It has been a hard road with my oldest being out on his own, but he knows his dad and I will always be there for him when in need and I hope that he doesn't feel like he is taking us for granted, because I do know he appreciates everything we do and is grateful.

A Surprise

So I told about the whole thing about my husband doing the bills with me and everything and how it actually made me feel a lot better and not so stressed out! I guess having a little spat and not talking for a couple of days really opened my eyes as well as his! He has always been loving and appreciate of me, but it made him even more so which is great! I really think it opened his eyes to the fact that we do live pay check to pay check, so with that said I come home Sunday morning and he was waiting for me to see how my night went and than tells me to go into the living room that he had a surprise for me! What a surprise wow my birthday is over with Valentines is over why did he get me a surprise, he said it is a just because I love you! Oh how sweet. He bought me a fairy statue for my garden!! In case your wondering I really like fairies!

Now for my next surprise. My oldest son came over the other night just as I was about to take off for work. He told me to wait he wanted to show me something and started to pull up his pant leg, so I thought he had a cut or something that he wanted to ask me about, because even though I am not a nurse I work with nurses and ask a lot of questions so that I know stuff. Anyway, he pulls up his pant legs and shows me a "Tattoo"! I was like oh my!! Did you just get that done today? He said no we got in done on Saturday night! We meaning him and three of his friends. He got the thespian face mask of happy sad. It looks really nice, but I was a little bit surprised!

Two surprises in one week I don't know if I can handle it!!

Just A Thought

I was working with nursemom last week and she was all excited because she is going on vacation. We always have a good time when we get to work together which isn't to often. She was saying how she got done early passing her meds and I said that is because you are working with me!! We laughed. I said well I would like to think that is why you got done early. We talked about her post about the holidays and how she forgot Easter and than we got talking about other things like that day happened to be fat Tuesday! Than I told her the day before was national pancake day and how Russia had this celebration. When you think about it, it's pretty silly some of the days they have! Well fat Tuesday goes into ash Wednesday which is the start of Lent which to me is the begining of Spring! Which leads me into the fact that I know we still have a whole month left of winter. Now I really can't complain because we have had a mild winter or I should say a warm winter, which is fine by me! We have had a little snow, but we have mostly had rain! It has snowed in the mountains where it should anyway! Now we are coming into March and it looks like March is going to come in like a lion! I just hope it goes out like a lamb!

Okay so you are wondering where this is all leading to, probably no where really!! No I wanted to talk about spring because I am looking forward to it because I am taking a couple weeks off from work. I was only going to take spring break off and decided the heck with it I am going to take two weeks! I really need to do some spring cleaning! That is my plan! Plan you say, but you don't plan anything! Yeah I know but I feel I am safe with the spring cleaning thing it is not like I am planning a big trip or anything, because that would never pan out! I hate to plan anything just because you know the saying stuff happens!! I don't like to make list either, which comes back to nursemom. She loves to make list and I guess so does her daughters! She said you make a list of things you want to do than cross them off! I am glad that works for her! The only list I make is a grocery list and guess what I don't do the shopping!! My husband does! Is that great or what!! Now I love to shop just not grocery shopping!

My husband is taking off spring break so we will probably do stuff since the kids are out of school that week and he wanted to go somewhere and I am like I don't think we can. So that comes back to the whole him being angry with me and not specking for two days yeah. So yesterday was bill paying day and I told him he wanted to know what was going on so get out here and see exactly what is going on!! So I paid the bills and he asked question than he got the big picture or at least I think he did and I have to tell you I didn't feel as stressed as I usually do! Of course I said these are the end of the month bills and guess what, March is apond us and it starts all over agian. Can you get why we live pay check to pay check like most working class people. I hope he finally gets it and has seen first hand that is the way it is and it is not like we have extra money laying around! Than you have the kids saying they need money for this and that or you help out your son who is on his own.

So I am looking forward to taking a couple of weeks off and hopefully if my "Plan" goes okay I will be doing some much needed spring cleaning and even though that is work it isn't "Work"!!

Addiction and other comments from other post...

I was reading someones blog about how she decided to give up caffeine and how she had with drawls but she was sticking to it! How she had texted her husband because she really wanted a soda pop! It was pretty funny!

That blog got me thinking about all the different kinds of addiction there are, but they aren't all bad. I mean if you buy dvd a lot you could say that is an addiction. Now I am guilty of that as well as as buying my tv series on dvd! The artificial sugar they put into diet soda isn't good for you either. Now I drink coffee and I have read that it can actually be good for you. Dark chocolate can be good for you. So I don't feel caffeine is a bad thing. I work graveyard shift and I need to stay await, which I usually don't have a problem doing. I am a night person anyway so it works out great for me, but I still need that extra help to keep me going. So good for this person who quit but just thought I would comment about it! I loved the blog it was very funny!

Than there was a post I was reading and someone made a comment about going to the fair and than they said Nevada didn't have a fair, yes we do. It is usually in the summer and it is in Reno. They have the rodeo in June and I believe the Nevada State fair is in August.

Than I was reading about Mardi Gras and how this person buys this pastry and such and she had mentioned the Kings Cake. It is a colorful cake that they usally put in a trinket mostly a placstic baby that represents baby Jesus. The person who gets the trinket has an obligation like buying the cake the next year. My son had a friend who buys the cake every year and they usually celebrate mardi gras as well and so I got to have a taste of it for the first time. This was a few years ago. It wasn't to bad at all. They always have a party for mardi gras and decorate and dress up.